As I mentioned the other week, I’m not a great watcher of fictional television. When friends talk about “The West Wing”, “Orange Is The New Black” and “Miss Fischer’s Murders”, I tend to glaze over. While there are some shows I do watch intently, and with passion, most of the time, television is either background noise or company for me. I’m far more inclined to have music or radio as my “soundtrack”.
But the other week I decided to give “Nashville” a go. And over a weekend I “binged” on about sixteen episodes. I was instantly hooked on the combination of “Dallas/Dynasty” meets “Smash”. I loved all of those shows and “Nashville” seemed to pretty much combine many of the things I really love: music, stories about families, intrigue etc. I thought Series 1 was excellent. I loved all of the characters, even if I found some of them annoying.
As I started to watch Series 2 on the weekend, I started to become even more annoyed by some of the characters. Deacon’s alcohol/drug addiction. Gunnar’s post-adolescent angst. Avery’s transformation from wanna-be star, to born-again roadie. Even Juliette, who I loved in Series 1 started to bore me, as she seemed to become more one-dimensional. Scarlet, who was already starting to shit me with her “small town girl” character moved to a whole level where I have begun to resent her, as soon as she entered a scene. I’m interested in the entrance of Will Lexington as the gay character, though I’m sure Will Lexington is probably also the name of a porn star. And I just wish he and Gunnar would get it on. Seriously. I’m still loving the character of Rayna James, though I did get a little bored with those days/weeks in the coma.
Nonetheless, I’ll stick with it. There’s a lot about the show I like.
A friend mentioned to me the other day Foxtel was about to start screening Series 4, so I guess I’ve got a lot of catching up to do over the next few weeks. “Do you want a copy on USB?”, another friend asked me today, but I told her I was fine, so long as Netflix bridges to Foxtel. I hope it does, and I hope I make it that far.
Earlier tonight I had a brief moment of panic when I realised I’d deleted 2,500 I follow on Google+. The thing about Google+ (as with Twitter) is that it’s not essential to actually know someone for you to follow them. I really enjoy both platforms because they allow you to tap into the thoughts, ideas, and shares of people from all around the world. The key issue is not connections, but shared interests. For me, the shared interests have included radio, genealogy, photography and so on. Incrementally on both platforms, I’ve acquired quite a few people.
Recently, I decided there was too much “noise” in my Twitter feed, and so I reduced the number of people I follow from around 600 to around 200. I’d reached a point where I’d realised there were so many people posting so many things (about largely trivial issues) that it was near impossible to sort the wheat from the chaf. So I embarked on a process of weeding out those people who didn’t post at all, those who posted too much, and by setting my settings to private. To be honest, I still included friends and a bunch of people I work with, simply because it would have been awkward to have deleted them. Nonetheless, the result is a far more interesting, far more satisfying experience. Sure, I miss out on the second by second posts from a bunch of people about breaking news, but I get that through my work anyway, and there’s still enough people to keep me up to date there. I genuinely read most tweets now, rather than scroll endlessly through the screen.
The situation with Google+ was, in contrast, without intention. I began using an extension which allowed you to go through your circles and, again, delete those who were posting too little, and those who were posting too much. In a frenzy of deletions, I ended up deleting absolutely everyone. Yes, everyone. All 2,500. Even though there’s an “undo” function in the extension, I sat down and thought carefully about the experience, and still only added back people back to my circles in a very selective manner. As with Twitter, I looked really closely at each individual and decided if I thought they genuinely added value to the experience. Once again, I concluded there was a lot of “noise” in my life that I didn’t need to experience.
I’ve also recently re-joined Facebook. I have major philosophical problems with Facebook, as I’ve described previously, and in particular about the commodification of friendship. I was also starting to actually dislike friends because of the way they overshared their lives. I was also beginning to find groups of friends were spending large amounts of group conversations about what they had shared on Facebook, as opposed to actually enjoying the moment. It’s both isolating and frustrating to be with a group of people who spend all the time talking about each other’s Facebook posts. In leaving Facebook, a friend noted “it’s great you’re not on Facebook, because we have stuff to talk about when we catch up”. But a colleague’s overseas travel plans has made me re-assess my connection with Facebook. I want to keep up with her travels, and she’s an avid Facebook user. I was also missing the connection with friends living in distant locations. I still strongly feel friendships are better maintained in person, so I’ve come up with some rules around Facebook this time: no friends in Sydney, no colleagues, and no family. These are the friendships, relationships we should be able to maintain in person.
I guess I’m beginning to sound like an old fogey. I’m not. I’m definitely very tech-savvy, very involved in all of this stuff. An early adopter of most of these platforms, actually. I just worry that real relationships and friendships are being undermined by technology. It’s like all the internet dating stuff, where you go to a gay bar and half the people sitting around are face down looking at Grindr on their mobile phones. It’s also about “noise” in our lives. The constant flow of meaningless information, becoming “white noise” means you can miss out on the most important stuff. Any technology misused can be problematic, of course. But at the same time, it’s kinda like the frog in the boiling water vs the frog in the water slowly heated to boiling. As the water gets warmer slowly, you go from being in a bath to a sauna, and then finally to boiling. It all happens so slowly and incrementally that you don’t notice you’re slowly being cooked.
The secret to all this stuff is moderation, I guess, and regular reappraisal.
About a month ago, my friend Michaela and I were in New York together. In contrast to Sydney with its’ 1.30 lockout, and where it’s near impossible to get a restaurant meal after about 9.30, you can go and do anything at virtually any time in The Big Apple. Memorably, there was one night when, having been to a show, we arrived at a restaurant called Balthazar at maybe 10.30 or 11.00 at night. And memorably, seated metres away from us was none other than Salman Rushdie.
In contrast, we met this week for an early meal at a Crown Street restaurant called Besser. As we arrived at the door, we saw another famous person enjoying their meal. “I love Noni Hazlehurst”, I said to Michaela with a smile, “but I can’t help but contrast this with New York”. In common, the service and the meals at both restaurants were excellent.
Besser, which has an Italian menu is located in the space where Billy Kwong’s used to be. “Everything is meant to be shared”, the waitress told us.
We had some chicken, some greens and some potatoes. The chicken was possibly the best chicken I’ve eaten in years. Moist. Tasty. Brilliant.
When the bill arrived, we noticed we had spent significantly more on the wine than we had on the food. That happens, I guess. And anyway, it was a great place to discover, and I’ve been recommending it heartily ever since.
The other place in Surry Hills that’s really taken off is a new pizza place (Via Napoli, I think it’s called), located in what was Franco Franco on Crown Street, closer to Cleveland Street. Every night I’ve walked past the place has been packed. And last night, there was actually a significantly lengthy queue. I’m sure I’ll get there one day.
I wandered around Lismore Shopping Square late this afternoon in search of a new pair of casual sports shoes, finally settling on a black pair of Dunlop Volleys. Quite comfortable, I thought to myself, and quite fashionable too. You know me, always ahead of the times, and always on the lookout for a good bargain, and at just $21.99 from Big W, they were certainly that.
If the truth is told, the shoes were just an excuse to go to the shopping centre to enjoy the air conditioning and to escape some of the humidity which I’ve found a little overwhelming since arriving here. This was especially the case last night when I travelled to Bangalow for an event which I was the MC for at the local A and I Hall.
Bangalow, of course is very fashionable now, though I remember when it was just the place you stopped for a pea on the trip to or from Brisbane. But now it’s all very upmarket with shops selling nick-nacks from all around the world. “You know the one thing you can’t buy in Bangalow?”, a friend aksed me. “Nickers. You can’t buy nickers or anything practical in Bangalow aside from milk, unless of course you consider Moroccan rugs part of your daily shopping”.
Despite the flashness of it all, it was still bloody hot and humid, and I noticed more than a few of those attending the event wore thongs. Holding off on a glass of wine (or two) until I had performed my official role, I downed several glasses of sparkling mineral water in quick succession. And although I’d taken my jacket coat with me, it didn’t take much convincing for me to take it off.
It was the second day in a row I’d been asked to perform a “public role”, having been interviewed by a newspaper the previous day. With baited breath, I checked the online edition in the middle of last the night to make sure what I said came out okay. Thankfully it did.
Aside from that, I now have a few free days at home just hanging out with my family before returning to work on Tuesday. Aside from a brief trip to Brisbane tomorrow to see my sister who isn’t well at the moment, I don’t have all that much planned for my time away. Just a bit of relaxing and hanging out with my family. Thankfully my nephew is still at that cute stage, though I suspect he’s starting to show signs of the “terrible twos”.
So yes all I have planned is hanging out with the family, doing nothing in particular, maybe catching up with some mates and, if the humidity continues, maybe some more shopping at Lismore Square.
I made a brief appearance on radio today (Radio National) sharing my experience of acquired disability and returning to the workplace after my lower right limb amputation.
It’s by no means an exhaustive explanation of the many different experiences of people with disability, but it covers some important issues. I have written elsewhere on this blog about the experiences of other people, and of course, everyone has a different experience. This program, for example, really only talks about physical disability, and doesn’t touch on other types of disability.
This episode of “This Working Life” also features Teresa, a support officer with Stargardt’s disease. We both discuss the challenges we face at work, such as inaccessible documents, heavy doors, and navigating spaces designed for able-bodied people.
The episode also features Tom Bevan, an accessibility expert, who emphasizes the importance of designing inclusive workplaces and highlights the role of technology, flexible work arrangements, and open communication in supporting employees with disabilities.
The episode underscores the need for greater awareness, education, and understanding of disability issues in the workplace.
James O’Brien: My name is James O’Brien, and I work for the ABC in audio as the planning manager.
Lisa Leong: James has worked here for a very long time. Then last year, he had a life-threatening emergency.
James O’Brien: I’d been overseas, travelling in Cambodia with friends, and I got a cut on my foot. When I arrived back in Australia, it was still hurting, but it wasn’t bad. However, over the course of three or four days, I went into a coma.
It turned out I had diabetes, and sepsis kicked in. Sometime that Friday, I failed to meet a deadline for work. My workmates started to panic because I always meet my deadlines. They came to my house, knocked on the door, no answer. They eventually called the police and the ambulance. I was taken to the hospital in an emergency, and the bottom half of my right leg was amputated. The sepsis had gone up my leg, and I had started developing gangrene.
The Road to Recovery
Lisa Leong: And how are you now?
James O’Brien: Still lucky to be alive! I had roughly four months off work last year. I spent about three months in the hospital because I was very, very sick. I also had some rehabilitation and had to learn to walk again with a prosthetic limb. Late last year, in November, I went back to work three days a week. Then at the start of this year, I went to work four days a week as part of a return-to-work plan.
Physically, I still get tired. It’s interesting—I didn’t know this, but when you’re an amputee, you’re actually doing much more exercise than everyone else because there’s so much more work involved. Plus, I have other issues like diabetes, and maybe the fact that I’m now 59 years old plays a role. I’m not sure how much of my fatigue has to do with those two things—whether it’s my illness or the fact that I’m getting old.
Adjusting to a New Reality
Lisa Leong: James joined an amputee support group and has since learned that he went back to work pretty quickly compared to others. His first day back was big.
James O’Brien: My colleagues were really fantastic, visiting me, sending gifts, sending messages, all those sorts of things. So the first day was pretty emotional. I was in a wheelchair on that first day when I came back. I had my prosthetic limb for maybe two or three weeks, but I was still getting around largely in a wheelchair. So that was an interesting kind of experience to come into my workplace and suddenly have to look up at people.
Lisa Leong: And it wasn’t only his emotions that he had to deal with. James was experiencing his workplace from a different perspective. James found some of the spaces at work a little bit more stressful to use now that he lives with a disability, even the space we booked for him to speak to us from.
James O’Brien: The studio I came to this morning—the door was really very heavy. I think I would struggle in a wheelchair to come into a studio like this. I also found interesting things like using the disability toilet. It’s got an automatic door, and I was just terrified that the door was going to open while I was sitting on the loo.
And then there are other little sorts of physical things around the place. For example, at our Parramatta office, we have a lift there which takes us up to the 39th floor. I would press the buzzer at first, and then the lift at the far end would open. And by the time I got to the door, the lift would close. So there were those physical kinds of things that were really a bit of a surprise.
The Importance of Flexibility
Lisa Leong: Being able to work flexibly is an adjustment that’s really important for James.
James O’Brien: I’m incredibly fortunate to have an office job, which I can do from home. So what I’ve settled on now is three days in the office, one day at home, and one day where I’m having my medical appointments.
Lisa Leong: In terms of the workflow, why have you decided to break your week up like that?
James O’Brien: Because by the end of Tuesday, I’m pretty tired. Monday and Tuesday, I work really quite hard. So on Wednesday mornings, I sleep in. I sleep in until about 9:30. It’s really good. And I also try and do all of those medical appointments.
I go and see my doctor.
I go and see the diabetes educator.
I go and see my physiotherapist.
I do some hydrotherapy.
I do all of those things on a Wednesday. So even though they sound actually quite energetic, it helps break up the week for me and means I don’t have to keep saying to my boss at work, “I need to take an hour off to go and do this as part of my rehabilitation.” So that’s what I’ve settled on. And that re-energizes me for Thursdays and Fridays.
Unexpected Challenges
Lisa Leong: James has some frustrations as well. He felt some of his colleagues, although well-meaning, did treat him a little bit differently.
James O’Brien: Some people really weren’t sure about things anymore. So I actually had a really interesting instance with a couple of people who started speaking to me a little more slowly and a little more deliberately. Look, I mean, one of the things early on was the prospect that if I’d been found a few hours later, I could have had brain damage, but I don’t. But I did find some people started to treat me in a different kind of way at work, which I just didn’t anticipate.
Lisa Leong: So what’s an example of treating you just that little bit differently?
James O’Brien: You know, “Whatever you can do, James. If you feel you can do it,” those sorts of words. And look, I really appreciate the emotions and the feelings and the expression behind that. But don’t kind of underestimate me. I’m OK. You know, that sort of thing. It’s the feeling that sometimes the extent of my disability is over-emphasized by people.
A New Perspective
Lisa Leong: What’s really interesting about you, James, is that you’ve now got this situation where you’ve got a different perspective from the one that you’ve had for quite a long time. So what are the biggest mindset shifts or perspectives that have opened up for you?
James O’Brien: So even though my disability is a physical one, I have started to interact with a lot of people with other types of disabilities as well. I think I’ve always been a good ally of people with disabilities, and I do a lot of work in the ABC around this, or have been doing. But now I have this kind of lived experience. And the lived experience means that I’m probably more inclined to look around to other people and what their needs might be.
“Twenty years ago”, I told Ronni Khan from Ozharvest, “I worked at Coles New World, and one of my jobs was to document the shrinkage, and to make sure the bins were locked so people couldn’t steal food. Is that still the case, or are the supermarkets now on board? Who do you still get resistance from?”.
She knew exactly what I was talking about: shrinkage is what the supermarket chains refer to and what they mean is food they throw out, and indeed, many still have a policy of locking up their garbage bins to avoid so-called “dumpster dining”. She said with the exception of ALDI, the supermarkets “say they’re on board, but they’re not really, and we could use your help in convincing them to help out”.
In asking the question, I was mindful of an earlier comment from Julian Morrow that questions should be “more than just a statement about your own life, seeking affirmation” (or words to that effect). Having worked in the media for a long time, I’m conscious of how badly constructed are the questions of some journalists. They often asked closed questions to establish facts which could have been established differently. The best questions are usually those which seek to establish fact, but then gain further insights, and of course, they shouldn’t be questions which elicit the answers your already know. I think my question did all of those things (I hope), even though it was a double-barelled question.
Ronni is an interesting character, and so is Greg Combet, and so is Jeremy Moylan. Jeremy is an activist who famously pranked the media recently, Ronni is the founder of an organisation which feeds homeless people with food otherwise thrown out by restaurants, and Greg is a former ACTU boss and federal minister.
Greg was very much in “book selling mode”, as he has recently published an autobiography, focussing on his life generally, but more specifically about his years in the Rudd/Gillard ministry. Like a bunch of people – Gillard, Swan – he’s in reflective mode about the years of the Labor Governments, and in particular, about the impact of the dysfunctional relationship between members of the ALP. The only really interesting anecdote from him was about how, in front of Bob Hawke, he described Bill Kelty as the greatest president of the ACTU. “Bob looked pretty uncomfortable”, he said, but then argued it’s usually harder to be the President of the ACTU when you have a Labor Government in place”.
I’ve been to Giant Dwarf only once before, but enjoyed it very much. For about twenty bucks, you have an hour or two of great entertainment and interesting conversation. I suspect it’s the space where The Chaser team are trying out some new ideas for television programs. The space has been on my mind once again in the last week – at work, we’re planning to hold an event there – and so I decided I’d pop along to remind myself what it’s like as a venue. I’m also a fan of the work of The Chaser, so it wasn’t like it was only for business reasons.
