A few friends have been noting of late it’s twenty years since the film, “Muriel’s Wedding” was released. I guess it was the article in the Sydney Morning Herald the other day which prompted most of the nostalgia.
For a lot of people, “Muriel’s Wedding” is a light-hearted comedy. For me, it’s actually a heart-felt comic-drama that has usually brought me to tears on the many, many occasions I’ve watched the film.
The first time I saw “Muriel’s Wedding” was at a cinema in Canberra. I was living in Wagga Wagga at the time. Of course there are many laugh out loud moments in the film. But there were also some very sad scenes in the film. In particular, the scenes surrounding the death of the mother. I’d lost my own “mum” at a young age, only a decade earlier. Co-incidentally, my “mum” was also called Betty, and in many ways, she was also neglected and abused by many parts of her extended family. The similarities upset me even now.
Months later, I was living in Sydney, and a couple of my very close relatives, Pat and Michelle, came to visit me. I took them to see the movie at the Cremorne Orpheum, knowing they’d “understand” the film in the same way I did, and they did. In the darkness of the cinema, I suspect they also shed a few tears.
Growing up on the NSW North Coast – not far from the mythical Porpoise Spit – I “knew” those bitches who made fun of Muriel. I could name every one of them. And while I wasn’t Muriel, per se – though I did sit in my room and listen to ABBA songs – I knew the girls who were “Muriel”. They were also taunted, made fun of by the likes of Tanya.
Do you ever feel like you’re nothing?
Throughout my life, I’ve suffered with many of the self-doubts and low self-esteem that Muriel encountered. In lots of ways I’ve been much more fortunate than “Muriel”. I’ve had a good job which has allowed me to move to different parts of Australia. I’ve never had to work in a video store :) But like Muriel, I chose to “escape” the small-town narrow-mindedness of “Porpoise Spit”.
One of my favourite lines – for many reasons – from the film is when Muriel says “When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I’ve met you and moved to Sydney, I haven’t listened to one Abba song. That’s because my life is as good as an Abba song. It’s as good as Dancing Queen.” Though it’s ostensibly about a geographic shift, the line is also about a shift in a state of mind. I don’t dislike the North Coast, but I know I’m probably happier living here in Sydney.
Muriel’s Wedding – You Can’t Stop Progress
Throughout the years, “Muriel’s Wedding” has remained with me.
Memorably, I was in the car with Pat a few years ago. We were doing a “blocky”. I should explain a “blocky” is what you do when you live in a country town and you’re feeling a little bored. You hop in the car and you drive around “the block” which is the main shopping district. As the song by ABBA, “Dancing Queen” came on the radio, without prompting, we began to adapt to a local setting the lines from the closing scene of “Muriel’s Wedding” where Muriel and Rhonda say “Goodbye Porpoise Spit”.
Muriel’s Wedding – Goodbye Porpoise Spit
If, like me, you grew up on the NSW North Coast during the 70s and 80s, and were a little bit “not of the mainstream”, “Muriel’s Wedding” can mean so much more than a light-hearted comedy.
When I was in Brisbane the other week I walked past “The Alliance Hotel” on Boundary Street. As I peered through window, I noted it seems like a very modern “boutique” hotel these days. However, I remember it back in the 80s when it was a fairly down-market gay bar.
“Down-market” is probably the wrong phrase to use, as it’s a venue I remember with fondness. They had $3 meals on a Monday night, as I recall, which was a very attractive offering to an impoverished university student living such as myself.
But it was the Sunday nights I remember the most. There was a “Sunday Session” from roughly four until ten, which was always a wonderful opportunity to catch up with friends for a beer or two. And they had a wonderful drag show which seemed to go on for hours. Although there were lots of drag legends in Brisbane at the time such as Toye de Wilde (who once ran for the Queensland Parliament) and Destiny Devine (who we named our cat after), the “star” of the show was a character called Freda Mae West. Freda Made was, probably, in her 70s, and her “star turn” was an inability to lip-sync properly. Most famously, the line “I see you shiver with anticipation” from Rocky Horror had the crowd in rapturous laughter.
In some ways, the Sunday night show at Sydney’s Stonewall reminds me of those days at The Alliance. Hosted by Polly, the show is all about having a fun time, having a few drinks with your mates, and in preparation for the week ahead, not taking life too seriously. A treasure.
So I’ve been to one of Sydney’s new “small Melbourne-style bars”. Well, strictly speaking it wasn’t a “small bar” in the way Clover Moore has described and legislated them, it was still a “restaurant”, but it had all the characteristics of a “small bar” thus re-inforcing my earlier point previous licencing laws could already deliver this type of establishment, it was just a question of “will” and “market demand”.
That argument aside, it was pretty good. “Yulli’s” has opened up opposite The Clock Hotel on Crown Street, Surry Hills offering a range of nice wines and good vegetarian only (shock horror!) food. Aside from the restaurant, they also have a backyard which they’ve decorated with astro-turf (yes seriously) and plastic chairs. Although on the surface that all sounds a bit odd, it was seriously a really great place for an intimate catch up, as I did with my friend Michaela this afternoon.
While there we got talking to the-bloke-of-the-couple who’ve opened the bar, who outlined their vision for the place. “My girlfriend worked in restaurants and I worked in pubs. This is a nice combination of the two”, he told us.
As we chatted, he mentioned the need for intimate neighbourhood spaces like this one in Sydney . He also talked about sourcing really good quality food, which they seem to take great care in. Their haloumi is to die for by the way, well-cooked and tasty and not at all “squeaky” or “rubbery” as some haloumi can be.
And he was, generally speaking a charming kinda bloke who made us both feel very comfortable. We both hoped he and his girlfriend make a real “go” of it in their new venture, as it can’t be easy opening up a business in the current economic climate.
Aside from that it was a fairly average kinda day at work, with nothing extraordinary to report. I did, however go out for lunch/yum-cha with a colleague, which was good fun. Nice food. Nice company.
The only pressing thing on my agenda which I didn’t manage to achieve today was a hair-cut. My hair has reached the stage where it’s kinda “fluffy” about the ears. As a man of “limited hair”, and a slight greying about the temples, it’s important for me to keep it short to keep it tidy.
Although I’ve toyed with the idea of buying some clippers so I could maintain it myself, I’ve never actually made the jump in that direction, fearful I’d mess it up. And you can just imagine how terrible it could end up looking if the “desire to trim” hit me after a couple of wines at a small bar.
One of my favourite personal interests is family history. My earliest memory of this interest goes back to high school when we all had to do a “family tree”. Ever since then I’ve been fascinated. Although my interest is ongoing, I go through periods of great breakthroughs, and periods where nothing happens.
I made a brief reappearance on ABC radio today, talking about the significance/role of genealogy in my blogs.
If you heard the segment, here are the ancestors I’m interested in chasing up more information about.
GGGGG-Grandparents
Love and Hoare land at Parish of Manangle
John Love and Martha: There is considerable debate amongst researchers about the early life of John Love and his wife Martha. The essence of the debate concerns Martha and her name prior to marrying John Love. There are several theories, all of which are canvassed in the comments below. We know, however, that John Love was a member of the newly formed NSW Corps, whose role was to supervise convicts. Although the records are somewhat sketchy, I think we can also accept he and Martha came to Australia on the Third Fleet. There is debate, however, about whether or not their daughter, Elizabeth Love came with them, or whether or not she was born here. The ship on which they came, the “Matilda” departed from Portsmouth on March 27, 1791, arriving in Sydney on August 1.
James Rixon and Amelia Goodwin: Although the exact details of his birth have yet to be confirmed, it’s believed James Rixon was born in Derbyshire, England in about 1770, At the time of his conviction and sentencing, he was living in Ilkeston, a small market town in the Erewash Valley, Derbyshire. Aged 22, he was “Charged on the oath of William Reed on Suspicion of privately stealing out of his Box in the House of William Webster, of Ilkeston, on Monday the 24th of October last, the Sum of Nine Guineas”. The sentence “To be hang’d” was commuted to Life imprisonment. His partner, Amelia Goodwin was also born in 1770 and her first marriage was to John Goodwin. When convicted she was 29 years old and living at Greenwich, England. She was charged with the theft from her employer of a large number of clothing and household items. According to the court record the value of the goods was 39-shillings. Amelia Goodwin was tried at Maidstone, Kent, found guilty of the offence on July 15, 1799 and sentenced to 7 years transportation.
James O'Brien visits Wexford in September 1999
John Hoare and Elizabeth Love: John Hoare who was transported to Australian in 1801 came originally from County Wexford, although the exact details of his birthdate and place remain unconfirmed (see notes). Wexford is a town of about 10,000 people these days on the South Coast of Ireland. Much of the history of the area, including the county’s role in Irish independence is celebrated and preserved. Researcher, Graham Lewis believes he enlisted in the Royal Navy at the Port of London on September 7, 1795. Initially he was on HMS Royal William, and soon afterwards HMS Impregnable. He moved to the HMS Defiance in 1796. On board the HMS Defiance Hoare was one of a number of people found guilty of their involvement in a naval mutiny on board the ship in 1798. A few years after arriving in Australia, he married Elizabeth, the daughter of John and Martha Love.
Allan McLean and Janet McFarlane: Allan McLean was born on the Isle of Coll, Scotland in 1782. His father, John McLean was a boat-builder and carpenter, while his mother, Isabella McDougall presumably worked at home.On May 23, 1816 at Scarinish, the main village on the Isle of Tiree (just off Coll) Allan married Janet McFarlane, a waitress living in the village. They left from Tobermory on the Isle of Mull on September 27, 1837 and travelling on the “Brilliant”, they arrived in Sydney on January 20, 1838. Soon after arriving in Australia, Allan and Janet settled at Broulee, near Moruya, on the NSW South Coast.
Thomas Triggell and Henrietta Spencer: Thomas Triggell was born November 8, 1812 in the small village of Bramshaw, near Fordingbridge in Hampshire, England. Thomas Triggell and Henrietta Spencer were married by banns (in the church, as opposed to national registratoin) at St Lawrence Church, Downton, Wiltshire, on October 7 1832. Both signed with a mark and witnesses to the marriage were Charles Sleave (Sleane?) and William Pope. They came to Australia in 1834 on board the Ship “James” with their daughter, Ellen (although she is named “Ann” on the Shipping Records. They left from London on June 29, and travelled via the Cape of Good Hope to Port Jackson, Australia, arriving here on November 17, 1834. They eventually settled on the Monaro.
Robert Higgins and Ann Owen: Robert Higgins, who was from Nottinghamshire, was sent to Australia after taking part in The Walcheren expedition (July 30 – December 10, 1809), a very large British military operation during the Napoleonic Wars. Higgins was court martialled on September 6, 1809. He came to Australia on the Admiral Gambier II in 1811. He married convict Ann Owen on November 19, 1814 at St. John’s Parramatta. Ann, who was probably born in 1791 had come to Australia on the Wanstead, along with her illegitimate daughter, Elizabeth. Judging by the record of her trial at The Old Bailey, and having an illegitimate daughter, it appears Ann would have been desperately poor before her arrival in Australia. Upon a conditional pardon, Robert became a Constable. In 1828, Robert and Ann separated. The reason, according to evidence given at the coronial inquest into his death, was that Ann had an extramarital affair. Robert Higgins died from asthma on June 11, 1828 at Burragorang. Ann died on July 23, 1832, and is buried beside her daughter Elizabeth Scott at Sutton Forest.
GGG-Grandparents
William Rixon and Ann Hoare: William and Ann had a large family and farmed in the Campbelltown district, now part of Greater Sydney.
James Laing and Isabella McLean: James Laing was a convict. He and Isabella lived in the Moruya and Towamba districts of Southern NSW.
Robert Higgins and Ellen Triggell: Robert Higgins who was the son of Robert Higgins and Ann Owens was born 1824 in Bargo NSW. He married English immigrant (came to Australia with her parents in 1834), Ellen Triggell at Cooma and lived at Towamba, near Eden NSW.
James Dennis and Elizabeth Guymer: James Dennis and Elizabeth Guymer were married on April 29, 1818 in the parish of East Dereham. Elizabeth who was born March 4, 1798 (and baptised one year later). was the daughter of William Guymer and Elizabeth Allison. Their daughter, Mary Ann came to Australia in 1854. Elizabeth died in the Mitford District in 1857 (Q3 1857 4b 200}.
GG-Grandparents
James O’Brien and Mary Smith: James and Mary were from the Slane district of Ireland. They came to Australia in 1864, settling in the Bega Valley.
James Wright Goward and Mary Ann Denny: James and Mary Ann were from the Norfolk District of England. They settled on the Kameruka Estate, near Candelo, via Bega, NSW.
Maurice Lynch and Mary Moynihan: Maurice Lynch and his wife, Mary Moynihan, lived in Listowel, a town near the Southwest coast of Ireland in County Kerry.
Donald Laing and Sarah Higgins: Donald Laing was probably one of Australia’s longest serving mailmen, completing 61 years of continuous mail contracting service, most of it carried out on horseback.
William Elliott and Mary Fitzgerald: At this stage, I have almost no information about William Elliott and Mary J Fitzgerald. I do, however, think there’s a fair amount of evidence they were the parents of Catherine Elliott who married John Dunn at Cooma on May 26, 1873. If this can be confirmed, they’re my g-g-grandparents. As I cannot find a marriage record for them yet, it’s likely they either didn’t marry or came to Australia as a married couple. I’m sure the latter is true!!
G-Grandparents
Mary Ann Goward was the daughter of James and Mary Ann. She married Peter O'Brien and lived in the Bega and Candelo districts of NSW.
John Noonan and Hannah Lynch: Hannah Lynch was an assisted immigrant who came to Australia where she married John Noonan. They lived and worked mostly in the Bega District.
William Rixon and Ellen Laing: Now this is a fascinating story. William and Ellen were first cousins who had at least three children together. William also had another family with whom he lived in Bairnsdale in Victoria. Easily the most interesting (and complex) story I’ve been researching.
Grand-Parents
James O’Brien and Lena Noonan: James and Lena mostly worked as dairy farmers in the Bega and Lismore districts. Their decision to move to Lismore was the reason why I grew up there.
Charles Dunn and Bertha Rixon: After serving in the First World War, Charles married Bertha. In the 1930s, they moved from Bombala to Lismore.
Parents
Albert O’Brien and Bertha Dunn: Mum and dad. For many years dad worked at the Lismore Base Hospital, while mum mostly worked at home.
After few days on the road it was nice to come home to my own bed tonight.
But on checking the letterbox there was further reason to be happy; an envelope from Ireland which I’ve been anticipating for a few weeks Unfortunately the volcanic eruption has held up the mail somewhat, so I’ve needed to hold on that little bit longer for some court records relating to one of my ancestors, James Laing.
I knew a little about him, but the records tonight from fellow researcher, Ann Murray Burke, have helped fill in many of the gaps.
The story of James is quite an interesting one.
He was born in Stonehaven (a seaside town on Scotland’s north east coast) near Aberdeen, (probably) on Sunday 18 June 1815.
When convicted of housebreaking in 1835, he stated he was “bred of a cartwright and since 1929 has been going on voyages as a sailor between Scotland and Quebec” and that he moved to Edinburgh in May that year.
His convict records state that, by modern standards, he was a short man, (1.63m tall), with a dark sallow complexion, brown almost black hair and brown eyes. He also had a small mole on the upper part of his right arm and a scar on the back of his right thumb.
On the 20th day of August 1835, the court records state, he and fifteen year old Addison Mitchell conducted break and enters on two houses in Elm Row, Edinburgh.
The first was at the house of James Thomson on Elm Row, Edinburgh where they stole the following items: a black cloth coat; a silver snuff-box; a pair of leather gloves; two or thereby silk handkerchiefs; and two or thereby pass keys.
The second was at the house of David Brown, a tailor and clothier on Elm Row, where they stole the following items: a silver watch; a silk watch ribbon; a gold ring; a gold seal; a gold key; and, belonging to David Brown’s daughter Helen, “a worsted shawl”.
At conviction, the court records note that both young men had appeared before Magistrate John Fletcher on August 25 and before Magistrate James Donaldson on August 27 where some of the stolen items were presented as evidenced against them.
On November 9, 1835, he was found guilty of housebreaking and was sentenced to seven years transportation.
In sentencing them, the court records note that Addison Mitchell had previous convictions in Edinburgh on July 8, 1834 and June 16, 1835.
The Scotsman newspaper reported the case thus…
High Court of Justiciary. Addison Mitchell and James Laing were next brought up, charged with two acts of theft, one of them committed by means of housebreaking, aggravated in the case of Mitchell, by his being, habit and repute, and previously convicted of theft. The prisoners having pleaded guilty, Mitchell was sentenced to fourteen years, and Laing seven years transportation.
Soon after coming to Australia he met and married Isabella Mclean, the daughter of Allan McLean and Janet McFarlane from the Isle of Coll in the Inner Hebrides.
Before coming to Australia, the records indicate, she had been “in service” at Glasgow and could speak a little English. Aged twenty, she came to Australia with her parents and younger siblings, settled in the Broulee area (near Moruya), where her father worked as a boat-builder.
The birth records of the children of James and Isabella indicates they spent the early years of their marriage living and working on a number of properties in the Moruya district, including Duga (1843), Glenduart (1844-1847) and Shannon View (owned by Flanagan) (1850) before moving to Braidwood (1852) at the peak of gold mining in the area.
By the 1860s, however, James and Isabella had moved to Towamba, near Eden where they farmed for the rest of their lives.
His death was reported in The Bega Standard in 1890.
Mr. James LAING another old resident recently deceased left three sons and three daughters, who have all large families. The deceased was born on the day the Battle of Waterloo was fought, and although thousands of miles from his birthplace, strange to say he died while a rifle match was being shot off. ‘Bega Standard’ – 12 August, 1890
Interestingly, the obituary mentions nothing about his convict past.
Anyway, that’s how I’ve spent my Friday night… transcribing records… listening to the radio… and generally, just relaxing.
The end of this year marks the tenth year anniversary of when my ex and I broke up. Well, strictly speaking, it’s ten years since he dumped me, but that’s just semantics I guess. And while we’ve both moved on in quite different ways, there’s someone at a major Australian bank who clearly thinks we are/should still be together.
As you do, when you’re in a relationship, we had a few things together including home insurance, as well as linked credit card accounts. After five years of active campaigning through phone calls, letters and emails, they made the home insurance changes. They don’t appear, however, to have gotten the message, though about the credit cards.
In 2003, 2007, and now in 2011, they continued to send me a replacement credit card for my card which was linked to his account. Even though we’ve told them three times now we’re no longer in a relationship, and have even received written confirmation they’ve made the changes to the account, they keep sending me replacement cards. The latest arrived in the mail today.
When I checked the mail this afternoon and saw the new credit card ready for use, I’d actually forgotten we had the linked account. I just thought it was a mistake. But then after a few minutes, I remembered we had been through all of this three or four years ago and began to get slightly grumpy. “How many times do I have to tell you?”, I grumbled as I walked around the house.
I texted Damo tonight about this, to which he replied, “you’re fucking kidding”. He’ll call them again on Monday to try and get some closure on this. I’m sure it’s just an error, or perhaps there’s someone at the bank in a state of denial who thinks we/should still be together.
Credit Card Offer
Hopefully, it will all be sorted out. If not, I’m booking an overseas holiday :)
“This is better than Vivid”, I said to my friend, visiting from Canberra, as we walked around the Lunar New Year Lantern Display around Sydney’s Circular Quay. “Every year”, I told her, “it rains at Vivid”, the festival of light held in Sydney. And even though it was awfully sticky tonight – we’re waking most days to be told on the radio, it’s 80% humidity in Sydney – it was still really lovely being out and about enjoying a very fine evening.
Sydney Harbour Bridge and Sydney Opera House were in shades of red, in celebration of Lunar New Year.
This was probably my favourite lantern. I love the tiger’s eyes, and the gentle recline. Beautiful.
Tai chi rabbitsHappy “Year Of The Pig”
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It doesn’t seem like 20 years. I love Muriel’s Wedding too. Just watching video clips on YouTube gets me because I can soon remember all of it.
It doesn’t seem like 20 years. I love Muriel’s Wedding too. Just watching video clips on YouTube gets me because I can soon remember all of it.